Giving Advice the Right Way
Guest articles >
Giving Advice the Right Way
by: Rhian Gabrielle
How many times have you found yourself in a situation where a close friend or a
colleague turns to you for advice regarding his or her problems? And, how many
times did you find yourself at a loss for a sound idea to share to your
distressed co-worker or close confidante?
In such instances, it could be very frustrating on your part when you fail to
help a dear friend or colleague in such trying times. However, this should not
be the case.
You have to understand that not everyone could give advice on the spot, since
giving advice can be considered a gift. Hence, you should not take it against
yourself if you failed to offer comforting words to your distressed friend or
But, you may ask: What if I’m the only one whom my friend or co-worker could
turn to for advice? Well, should that be the case, here are some tips that could
help you play the part of a good advisor to a friend or colleague in dire need
of a good advice:
- Allow your friends/colleagues to rant. Most people with lingering personal
problems just want to speak out their minds to ease the burden that they feel.
In such case, just play the part of a good listener and show utmost sincerity
with your friend’s or co-worker’s rants. You’ll see that it could help a great
deal in easing the pain they’re feeling inside.
- Don’t judge them. Most persons who give advice make the mistake of pointing
out what the advisee had done wrong. Don’t make this same mistake. Instead, try
to come up with a sound advice based on their existing predicament or problem
without telling them everything wrong that they did. You wouldn’t want the same
done to you, would you?
- Involve them. It’s very tempting to just speak out your mind on what you think
is the best solution. However, most professional counsellors would tell you that
it is way better to make problem-solving a collaborative effort. So, the next
time someone asks for advice, involve him or her in the process.
- Sway your friend/colleague to the right path. Although most people won’t allow
others to influence their actions, you should try to sway your friend or
colleague to follow your advice. In specific cases when your advisee shows a
suicidal tendency, for example, it’s imperative that you’ll try everything to
talk him or her out of it to prevent any untoward incident from happening to
- Be brutally honest. Although it’s hard to say the truth most of the time,
especially to an obviously distressed person, it is advisable to just be frank
and call a spade a spade, so to speak. The key to a good advice is the
truthfulness in the manner of giving it. In such case, the truth will surely set
your friend or colleague free.
- Say it wholeheartedly and clearly. The best pieces of advice are those that
come from the heart. Psychologists have long said that people whom are advised
would almost always feel when their advisors are talking to them sincerely, and
when they’re obviously just patronizing their advisees. Hence, make it a point
to say what you mean and mean what you say, and in the fewest words possible.
Drive home your point quick and don’t beat around the bush.
By simply following these techniques, you can be sure that you will ace it when
a friend or co-worker suddenly approached you for advice.
About the Author: Rhian Gabrielle is a regular contributor of blogs and
articles in various sites and online publications. She is also an online
marketing expert. She believes that kindness, listening, and giving advice to
your friends are great ways to make you a better person.
Published here on: 24-Jun-12