How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
You will Always Find 2 Types of People
Guest articles > You will Always Find 2 Types of People
by: Prakash Sutradhar
In every country, culture, society, organization you'll come across these types of people. 1) Narcissist and 2) Bulldozer. They both have poison and deadly viruses. They can make you poisonous. Let's learn more about them...
First Category: Narcissist
Their only motto is Me, Me, Me, Me and Me. I am this, I am that, I have this, I own this, I can do this, I know these things, I am right … I am everything. Their only goal is self-promotion. They think very high of themselves. They think they are super special, they are unique, they are extraordinary. They want to be the center of every conversation, activities. They try to get the attention of the crowd.
They will tell stories of schooldays, how they led their team win that final match. They will promote all their achievements. In their stories, they are super lover than you, they are more intelligent than you, they are richer, they are the best advisor, they are more demanded than you. They exaggerate everything, they magnify all small incidents where they come out as a hero every time. For their listeners their life is full of interesting stories, they delivered different results by acting different roles every time.
They think their birthday is more special than your marriage, their new mobile is more cool than your MBA degree. They are all and they are nothing but jerk.
From outside they seem like super cool guy/girl but from inside they are empty. They have the fear of being overlooked, fear of being unimportant, fear of not recognized, fear of being ordinary. They don't even know that due to fear they act like a jerk but they think it's normal. Those feelings started in their childhood, if they were constantly ignored by their parents or peers, or if they were too shy to express their need. When they grow up they develop the habit of narcissism. Narcissism is self admiration. They are full of admiration for themselves, they behave like confident but they are overconfident. They have inflated ego, They give themselves overvalue. They overestimate their abilities. Their biggest enemies are those who underestimate them. They can't take slightest of the criticism. They burst out if anyone try to show them their fault.
They always need their followers who will listen to them. They feel frustrated if no one listens to them. With the booming of social media, they are now more visible everywhere. They will regularly update their photos, they will let everyone know their dinner menu, what they are doing, where they are going. They are proud of their followers in the social media, they love their body, their hairstyle, their brain, their ass and for them no matter what you do, you can't beat them. They need attention and their ego travels ahead of them.
The Second Category: The Bulldozers
Narcissist group sometime may seem cool but bulldozer category people are always super jerk. The are always annoying and big pain for others.
You might have heard many Akbar and Birbal stories in your childhood (Akbar
was a great king of Mughal Empire in 16th century). Birbal was his most favorite
and the cleverest minister. Akbar knew it very well that no one can fool Birbal.
One story was of that, one day Akbar called Birbal to test his cleverness. In
the floor, Akbar drew a line with chalk and asked Birbal to make that line small
without touching it.
But as Birbal was very clever, he drew another line parallel to that line but
longer than the Akbar's line.
And Birbal replied to the king, “Sir, your line has become smaller.” This story has a great moral that “we can always make us higher without depending on others.” But bulldozer category people misunderstood this story, and they took in opposite way. They follow the principle that
“If you can't make yourself high, then make others smaller”.
They always try to put others down, they always criticize, they always blame others. If you say to them “I came first in exams”, their reply will be “I heard that question paper was very easy”. If you say that I won gold medal in chess tournament, their reply will be “No one plays chess today”. If you say that I bought a new mobile phone, their reply will be “But it lacks these facilities, and it is over priced too”. If you tell them that my son got admission in university, their reply will be “But I read in the newspaper that your university ranks low ”.. they don't miss any opportunity to make others feel that they are lower than them. Bulldozer category people also thinks that they are super special and they admire themselves but they lack the art of self-promotion, they don't know how to advertise themselves, so they choose the path of putting everyone down.
Then What is the solution?
If you're an ordinary people like all of us then
Just ignore them, don't give any value to their opinion, they are jerk and they will be jerk. They are doing this for their own psychological problems and you should not become prey to their problems. The more you'll avoid them the more you'll be safe from their poison. Trust me, your life and your well being is not dependent on them.
If you're Narcissist then
Just keep yourself obscure for a few days. Don't say, don't do anything other than your surviving activities like eating, breathing, studying, working. First understand that, narcissism is a disease and it not only affects you but also affecting your family members, friends. You annoy everyone with your so called cool life. Stop promoting yourself, and accept yourself as a normal human being like we all. You too have strengths and weaknesses as we all do have. You don't have to get recognition from everyone, you can have a better life without putting so much energy in promoting yourself. How much energy will be saved if you stop putting yourself every time high and use that energy in other important things like career, self development and family.
If you're Bulldozer then
Dude, your theory is wrong, you can't raise yourself up by putting others down. You will always be what you are irrespective of what others do. Dude, breaking furnitures of your neighbor's house won't repair your broken furnitures. So change your theory, and if you genuinely want to make yourself higher then work on yourself.
PS: Finally one confession, there was a time when I was a narcissist and bulldozer but I identified my problems and worked on myself. I saved so much energy in my day to day life which I previously invested for self-admiration and bulldozing others. I think we all have a little of these qualities and we all need to introspect ourselves. Imagine how much better place world would be if no one puts others down and no ones thinks that they are super special.
Contributor: Prakash Sutradhar
Published here on: 25-May-14