How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
The Need for Home
We all need a place we can call home, where we can feel safe and comfortable, away from the world.
Within the home, we may also have a special place that is just for us, where other are excluded.
For a soldier in the field, the campsite is a temporary home. The company barracks are a yearned-for, safer home. There is also a sense of home as a place to defend about their native country.
For a child, their parent's house will always feel like home, with their bedroom as a special, personal place within the home.
One of the ways we get our sense of identity is by having things which are ours, which belong to us. And an important one of these is a physical place that we can call our own where we can go. Home is where I can take off the social masks and be just me.
Home is a place of trust, where we live with our family and where invitation to others is a sign of extended trust and friendship. This is reflected in sayings such as 'Home is where the heart is'.
While we may share our home with trusted others, we also need personal, private place, away even from the tensions of shared spaces. This is typically a study or a bedroom, but can even be a shed, a seat or a corner of a room. A safe place of our own is akin to having a nest, a womb-like place where we can go back to the naive comfort of infancy and before.
The need for safety against threats is both real and genetic. Our ancestors more daily threats than us and having a place just to sleep safely was important for survival and may be the origin of the need for a home.
The power of 'home' is known and used by those who build and sell houses and living spaces. While they claim to sell 'homes', in practice it is the occupants who make a house a home.
'Home' is a flexible concept and can be a house, a town or even an entire country. The desire for 'home' can be seen when people get homesick.
We attribute meaning and culture to non-home places too, such as the workplace or holiday destinations. These may have varying levels of comfort and threat. They also may help to define home by being a contrasting 'other' place.
If you want to get close to a person, invite them to your home, welcoming them and showing that you trust them in your private place.
Also visit them in their home. Be respectful and show you are not a threat there.
Be careful about making even small threats in such places of trust as such actions will be viewed very seriously.