How we change what others think, feel, believe and do |
Ask for Help
Techniques > Conversation techniques > Building rapport > Ask for Help Description | Example | Discussion | See also
DescriptionAsk the person for help. Make sure they can give the help without much effort. Some of the things you could ask for include:
When they give you the help you ask, be clearly grateful, though not effusively so. This should result in them liking you more. When they feel more attached to you, you can ask for more significant items. If you are asking them for help often, look for ways to 'balance the books' in giving them things in return, in particular with ways that are easy for you. Remember that attention and gratitude contribute to this 'social capital' account. ExampleYou know about this. What do you suggest we do? I'm terrible at IT. How do I save this document into the shared database? DiscussionWhen you ask for help, it seems you will end up being the one obliged to them, and hence in a position of weakness. Yet the reverse often happens, that the person becomes more willing to help. This is because in helping you, they become more attached to you. When they have to do something that indicates that they care, they change their beliefs to consistently align with their actions, and so end up actually caring more about you. It feels good to help, and when helping is easy, you get that boost for little cost. You also get the good-feeling gratitude of the other person. This is a method that Benjamin Franklin used. He won around a critic by asking to borrow a book from them of which they were very proud to own. This worked as the critic realized that they had more in common (love of books) than had originally seemed. See alsoBen Franklin Effect, Reciprocity Norm, Attachment Theory, Consistency Principle
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Site Menu |
| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings | |
Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories | |
Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help | |
More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes | |
Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate | |
| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links | |
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