Missing strengths

Disciplines > Negotiation > Negotiation mistakes > Missing strengths

Description | Avoiding it | Taking advantage | See also

Description

Not seeing all of your own strengths is a classic negotiation error when you lack self-confidence or assume that the other person holds all the cards.

A typical situation is where an employee is seeking a pay rise. It is often assumed that it is simply a decision that the boss can make at a whim. In fact the boss may well be very concerned that you stay motivated and fear that if your request is declined that you will not work as hard. Even more, they will very likely worry that you will no longer like them (most bosses like to be liked, just as the rest of us).

Avoiding it

Take time to understand your strengths before you get into a negotiation. Think about:

The skills and knowledge that you have.
Relationships with other people.
How others want you to like them.
How you can help others in all sorts of ways.
How time can be used as a negotiable.
The other negotiation variables in the situation.

Also take regular time and effort to build and sustain your self-esteem and self-confidence. Value yourself as you value others.

Taking advantage

Where others are not using their strengths, do not point this out. In case they realize this later, you can be nice and make some concession to them as an act of goodwill.