How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
Changing the Standard
Find the standard
A trick with negotiation is to understand the comparisons that are being made in people's heads. What are the benchmarks against which people are deciding? What are their actual or constructed standards?
To find the standard, ask them about their ideals. Get them to describe their best experiences or perfect ideals. Be enthusiastic and they will tell you more. Another way is to ask for company policies in the areas of interest.
Change the standard
If you can change the comparison standard by which they judge all others, you can make what you are offering look wonderful or what they are offering look bad.
You can change the entire standard or just one part of it.
Could you describe your perfect house?
Tell me about the best holiday you have had.
We make many decisions by using contrasting comparisons between two items. To decide whether something is good or bad, we fix one of these as a standard (which can be a standard for bad things as well as good).
Comparisons may be against fixed standards or ideals. For example, if I am buying a house, I may have an actual house in mind I have seen against which I compare all others. Alternatively, I may have built one mentally, perhaps as a composite of desirable elements I have seen.