How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
Excluding is keeping other people or information out of the conversation.
To keep other people out of the conversation you can:
Keeping information out of the conversation keeps it with a sharper focus. To do this, you can:
Sorry, but I'd rather not talk about that at the moment.
Jane, I hope you don't mind but Stevie and I are having a private conversation.
Sometimes when you are talking with others, you want to talk specifically with one or a few other people. Some other people may be present and effectively in the conversation. Others again may be nearby or turn up and want to join the conversation. The question is how to keep them out. This can be done either directly, telling them that they are not welcome on this occasion or (more politely) by sending them signals, such as ignoring them.
Most people will understand signals. Some people will ignore them. Some will feel insulted and respond in a difficult way. Most people will understand and move elsewhere, especially if the signal was sent carefully.
Excluding information is useful particularly when you want to keep a focus on a specific topic. Conversations often drift in random directions based on the associations people make with what is being discussed. To keep on topic, you will have to be careful to avoid drifting yourself and ensuring others do not drift.