Ask them easy questions

Techniques > Conversation techniques > Opening the conversation > Ask them easy questions

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

Description

Start out by asking them questions that are easy for them to answer.

A good balance is around two or three closed questions, that have short answers, and then one open question, where they have to think and talk more. Early on, it is often better even with open questions to keep them simple and easy.

When doing this, remember to sustain interest in them and what they have to say. Easy questions can lead to stock answers, but remember that the goal is to get the conversation going, not discover what the

Easy topics include:

The weather (especially in climates where it changes often).
Recent news (though be careful about difficult topics that may lead to emotional arousal).
Family (siblings, where they live, etc.)
History (what school they went to, where they hav lived, etc.)
Work (what they do, people at work, etc.)
Holidays
Hobbies and sports

Example

Isn't it a great day? Did you get out in the sunshine, today?

Did you hear about the accident down town? Isn't it awful?

Do you have a brother called Joe?

I do like your dress -- where did you get it?

Discussion

Questions are an easy way to open a conversation, especially if you are prepared. If the other person is uncomfortable (and they often are), then questions that are easy for them to answer is a good way to make them comfortable whilst engaging them (rather than having them listen too much to you).

Early on, do also remember to stay away from potentially contentious topics unless you deliberately want to create an impact. Criticizing the Pope, for example, is a not a good idea if you do not know whether the other person is a Catholic (even conservative non-Catholics may find such a move disturbing).