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Demonstrate Power and Kindness

 

Techniques > How to > How Can I Get People to Trust Me? > Demonstrate Power and Kindness

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

 

Description

Show you have power. How you do this depends on the power you have. You can wear tight clothes that accentuate your muscles. You can talk about your senior position in the company. You can talk about the things you have achieved or the people you know.

Also show that you are kind, and that you at least will do no harm to the other person and in fact may well be able to help them. Speak gently and pay considerate attention to them. Indicate that you use power for good purposes rather than simple domination of all others.

Example

A big man holds open a door for a woman pushing a baby carriage and smiles in a friendly way.

A business leader speaks of the changes that must be make while enphasizing that this will protect jobs and help with the company's social values.

Discussion

When we meet other people, one of the early things we do is a threat assessment. To do this, we first determine what power they have. We then compare it with our power and work out whether, if we fell into conflict, they would be able to beat us. This is quickly followed by an assessment of how likely they are to use their power against us.

After the threat assessment we consider opportunities. A powerful person could be very helpful in several ways, using their power to get us things we need, as well as protecting us from harm. Women in particular are programmed to seek powerful and kind males who would protect them and their children.

In consequence, if you show power and kindness, then people will conclude you are not a threat and are able to help them, and so will trust you more.

See also

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