Vagueness

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Principle | Practice | Discussion | See also

Principle

When you are vague in what you say, people will change the meaning to apply it to their own situation.

Practice

Be vague and non-specific in what you say, for example:

Talk about 'people' or 'a person' but not the subject.
Leave the subject out of sentences. Do not say who did things.
Mention feelings but not which feeling.
Discuss about situations, but not which situation.
Talk about things but not which things or which part of the things.
Tell of about events but not when they occurred.

For example:

You might find that a certain event comes to mind when we talk about failure (and you know what I mean). And you may have felt in a particular way a out it, even though you know others did not. Thinking about it now, you could ask why? Why do you have to think in certain ways and why shouldn't you think in other ways? Because you can, you know.

There was a person who came to me once who sat in that chair and started falling immediately into a deep trance. It started in one part of them and spread out quickly until they were deeply unconscious.

Discussion

Language is a poor vehicle for the deep intent of what we really want to communicate. As a result, we speak in attenuated forms. As listeners, we know this and are pretty good at filling in the gaps when others speak, even when they leave out huge detail.

We are at in the middle of our own universe and easily relate everything we hear to ourselves. In order to make sense of things, we add the details from our personal models and memories.

Combining these two principles means that, when we listen to non-specific descriptions, we put ourselves into the picture, just as we enjoy stories by identifying with the hero. Once in the story we then are subject to its twists and turns and become led by it.