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Physical attractiveness

Techniques > Romance > Physical attractiveness

The bones of beauty | Are beautiful people beautiful? | See also

Physical attractiveness is not everything, but it does have a significant place in romance and dating.

The bones of beauty

Why do men like women with large mammary glands? Why do women like older, richer men? Although it is not always the case, there are evolutionary needs that have strange effects on us still.

What men want 

Men look for women who seem likely to be able to bear plenty of strong children. They thus look for women who:

• are young and healthy and have many childbearing years ahead of them.
• have large breasts for feeding their children.
• have wide hips so they will not have delivery problems.

What women want

Women are not like men. A major difference is that they are generally left to bring up the children, giving them ten to twenty years of work after their debilitating nine months of pregnancy. They thus look for men who:

• are strong and powerful and can feed and protect them and their children.
• are kind and thoughtful and will stay with them.

The baby-face

Babies have faces that are differently proportioned to adults. Babies are also very vulnerable, and so nature has programmed into us a calming response that makes us go 'ah' when we see a baby's face. Some adults retain characteristics of the baby face (and indeed we often call people by that name) and hence appear more youthful and attractive for longer.

A baby's eyes, which do not grow with age, are relatively large in their face. People with larger eyes are found to be more attractive, especially if the eyes are clear, like a baby's, without any bloodshot or other age-giveaway elements. Women use make-up to exaggerate their eyes and make them look bigger (darkness around the eyes creates a contrast effect, whilst blue exaggerates the blue of the iris).

A baby's cheeks are often relatively red compared with the rest of its face, which is often fairly white and smooth. Make-up again gives the opportunity to hide blemishes, fill in the cracks, create a whiter look and with blushed cheeks. A blushed look also gives an impression of innocence.

A baby's lips are redder and smaller, often puckered into an almost kissing pose. Lipstick helps the redness and the puckering can be a deliberately struck pose.

Are beautiful people beautiful?

Beauty is only skin deep, and although by definition it is attractive, beautiful people are not necessarily beautiful on the inside and do not necessarily make great partners.

When beautiful people aren't

Those who are attractive may have become vain and self-centered. They may be used to being the center of attention and will always want to receive more than they give. They will also remain attractive to other people and you may find yourself constantly fending off their latest hopeful suitors. At the very least, you will have to learn to trust them with others if you are not to become eaten away by jealousy.

When beautiful people are

Having said all of this, there are many beautiful people who are also gorgeous on the inside. Sometimes they are just grateful for what they have been given and want to give back to the world. Sometimes the positive attention they have received gives them a comfortable self-confidence. Sometimes they're just nice folks!

And the not-so-beautiful?

The reverse is also true. People who are not so attractive may compensate by being great lovers or net givers to the world. They may also become bitter and angry after years of being ignored.

The bottom line is that you have to get to know them before you know them enough to decide. Partners learn things about each other that friends do not. You just have to kiss them frogs!

See also

Evolutionary needs, Beauty