Be Like Them

Description

A simple way to get people to trust you is to be like them in all kinds of ways.

Ways of being similar include:

Speak like them, using similar words and speaking style.

Move like them, using similar body language.

Dress like them, with similar fashion and formality.

Do similar things to them, for example with similar work, hobbies or social activities.

Think like them, with similar approaches to problems.

Feel like them, showing empathy and similar emotional displays.

Have a similar history, for example going to the same school or living in similar places.

Be like them, with similar values, beliefs and attitudes.

Be similar, rather than identical. Show you are like them, not just copying them. If you know what they are like, you can sometimes do this by being ahead of them rather than one step behind.

Discussion

There are two very different situations for trust. Firstly, trust is built up over a period of time by being honest, reliable and caring. However, there is often a question of trust when there is no time to assess true trustworthiness. In such cases, for example when dealing with strangers or people you do not know well, the similarity principle applies, where we work on the principle that people who seem to be like us are trustworthy.

The way this works is that when people seem similar to us, we connect with them to the point of joining identities. When we think of them, we are then also thinking of ourselves. And because we trust ourselves, we trust them too.

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Be Like Them

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