How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

Fishing for Praise

Techniques > Conversation techniques > Conversational Traps > Fishing for Praise

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

Description

One of the nice things in life is when other people think we are good, clever or generally worthy. When they praise us, we feel good as our sense of identity is boosted and our status elevated.

Because we know praise is nice, we tend to go looking for it. we talk about the good things we have done, how we have helps others and achieved great things. Boasting is typically followed by an expectant pause, perhaps with raised eyebrows, as the fisher waits for praise.

More complex fishing starts by questioning and listening to the other person to find out what is important to them, then dropping in targeted information that is intended to garner thanks and praise.

Example

I just got my exam results and I got 82%!

I can see cancer research is important for you. I raised 80K for them in last year's marathon. 

Discussion

Praise is nice not just for stroking the ego but also for raising status, liking and otherwise increasing your ability to influence and persuade.

Praise is also useful as a tool. When you praise a person they will likely feel obliged to reciprocate and so may be more easily influenced.

See also

Praise (motivation), Praise (assertiveness), Praise (teaching)