How we change what others think, feel, believe and do |
Connecting with pronouns
Techniques > Use of language > Parts of speech > Using pronouns > Connecting with pronouns Method | Example | Discussion | See also
MethodUse pronouns to create connection with other people. Use 'you' to recognize and accept the other person. Use 'we' to create a connection with them. Using 'you' aggressively and in the accusative also can be used to break connection or cause tension, if this is what is required. Using 'I' and 'me' can also cause a separation, particularly if you are using in a selfish context. They can also be used to prod the other person into recognizing that you have rights too and need greater consideration. ExampleYou know, Jim, if you took it with you today, you could use it tonight. Now, how can we resolve this last point? Then you could take it home today. They are coming soon. What can we do about it? What I want is that you give me more consideration. DiscussionAll sales people know the power of pronouns. If they say 'you', this is one step down from using the person's name (which can be easily over-used). This is triggering identity needs. Using 'we' or 'us' creates bonding and identification with the other person. Using 'you' grabs attention, but also subtly separates 'me' from 'you', which may be desirable if you want the other person to focus on themselves. 'They' also separates, often from 'we' and can further increase bonding. When separation is created by highlighting the difference between the speaker and the person, a tension is created that can be productive, if carefully managed. See alsoBonding principle, Tension principle
|
Site Menu |
| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings | |
Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories | |
Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help | |
More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes | |
Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate | |
You can buy books here |
And the big |
| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links | |
|
Site Menu |
| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings | |
Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories | |
Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help | |
More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes | |
Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate | |
| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links | |
|