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ChangingMinds Blog! > Blog Archive > 05-Jun-06

 


Monday 05-Jun-06

Secret trials

There is a big trial on in London at the moment of people accused of taking part in last Summer's bombings. It's a dire business and I'm glad I'm not on the jury. At the same time, the trial of Saddam Hussein stumbles on in Bagdad, where lawyers and judges go in fear of their lives, and rightly so when a number of their colleagues have already been attacked and killed. Meanwhile Hussein continues in bald dominance, as if he were still in charge and has done nothing wrong. It seems the way of deposed dictators -- Slobodan Milosevich manipulated proceedings in court in the Hague until his timely death there.

And each of us has personal trials that we have to face in our own way. Not grand or terrible proceedings on a world stage, but small and secret and yet heavy to bear. I share some things here and, like diarists of ages past, the writing somehow lightens the load. But there are also things that I cannot share and weigh darkly on my heart. I have neither broken laws nor transgressed social rules, but I still have personal things that are very hard to bear.

I am not judged for the cross I carry and there is no end to the trial. I do not know how to lighten the load and so I will smile and carry on, as many before and since.

So now I have set you guessing, and maybe you will guess correctly and maybe not. In any case, I cannot tell. But maybe also you understand and empathize. We all have a hidden self where we hold back those things that we would rather not share, and maybe some things weigh you down in relentless, unending ways. Poor solace, I know, but look around and you will see many others bent double with secret woes. Some things you cannot tell but you are not alone in this: it is a part of the human condition to think private thoughts and worry.


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