How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

| Menu | Quick | Books | Share | Search | Settings |

The ChangingMinds Blog!


ChangingMinds Blog! > Blog Archive > 18-Apr-07


Wednesday 18-April-07

The falsehood of self-image

How we see ourselves is a rather tricky subject, as we are inside the machine, as it were. We are also very strongly affected by identity needs, and it is how we define ourselves that has much to do with it. Basic human needs as defined by Abraham Maslow 1943 includes a sense of belonging, the esteem of others and achieving our potential.
The importance of how other people see us is such that we see ourselves through the eyes of other people (it is called the 'Looking-glass Self'). The problem here is that we have to guess what others are thinking and often get it wildly wrong. Typically, we assume that others are forming strong opinions about us when they actually may hardly notice us. Attention can be good, however, and 'Social Facilitation' is in effect when athletes put in their best ever performances at the Olympics or other big meets.
Childhood has, in the Freudian sense, a significant effect on our self-image. If a teacher or parent tells a child 'you're stupid' then the child may well assume that this is how they must act. I have just spoken with my daughter who has a friend who just dropped out of university in his final year just before his finals, which he was pretty much guaranteed to pass. He has a dominating mother, which I suspect has something to do this this. Thus, to some extend, we see ourselves through the supposed eyes of childhood significant adults.
Despite the complexities of identity, the good news is that we still have choice. When we can see how things are affecting us, we can combat these effects and make conscious choices about who we want to see when we look in the mirror. It is of course not as easy as that, but with determination, learning and courage, we can be the people we want to be.

Your comment on this blog:


         Your name:
         Your email:

   Please enter code to the right:  


Site Menu

| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings |

Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories |

Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help |

More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes |

Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate |


You can buy books here

More Kindle books:

And the big
paperback book

Look inside


Please help and share:


Quick links


* Argument
* Brand management
* Change Management
* Coaching
* Communication
* Counseling
* Game Design
* Human Resources
* Job-finding
* Leadership
* Marketing
* Politics
* Propaganda
* Rhetoric
* Negotiation
* Psychoanalysis
* Sales
* Sociology
* Storytelling
* Teaching
* Warfare
* Workplace design


* Assertiveness
* Body language
* Change techniques
* Closing techniques
* Conversation
* Confidence tricks
* Conversion
* Creative techniques
* General techniques
* Happiness
* Hypnotism
* Interrogation
* Language
* Listening
* Negotiation tactics
* Objection handling
* Propaganda
* Problem-solving
* Public speaking
* Questioning
* Using repetition
* Resisting persuasion
* Self-development
* Sequential requests
* Storytelling
* Stress Management
* Tipping
* Using humor
* Willpower


* Principles


* Behaviors
* Beliefs
* Brain stuff
* Conditioning
* Coping Mechanisms
* Critical Theory
* Culture
* Decisions
* Emotions
* Evolution
* Gender
* Games
* Groups
* Habit
* Identity
* Learning
* Meaning
* Memory
* Motivation
* Models
* Needs
* Personality
* Power
* Preferences
* Research
* Relationships
* SIFT Model
* Social Research
* Stress
* Trust
* Values


* Alphabetic list
* Theory types


Guest Articles


| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links |

© Changing Works 2002-2016
Massive Content — Maximum Speed