How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
The ChangingMinds Blog!
Change, jobs, doctors and resilience
When change arrives, it can be good or bad news but it always comes at a cost. Whether you go through the K?ler-Ross grief cycle as you process a negative impact or bump through the honeymoon of the positive change cycle, change always has an emotional impact. And emotional arousal is, eventually, tiring. In the hurly-burly of the constant change that we face in modern living, this is a real issue for many of us.
I am not immune to this effect either -- knowing about it does not stop me being human. After losing and finding a job (I'm still getting established), my son quitting school and my daughter quitting her job to look for something where she could work with higher integrity, the news today is that she failed to get a job in CSR with Pfizer that she worked incredibly hard for. She did an amazing presentation of Nokia's CSR approach and a knock-your-socks-off interview and was in the final two but a miss is as good as a mile. She's currently on a budget cheap-flight-and-hostel get-away-from-it-all in Prague and I'm concerned about her being alone in a foreign place.
So am I a quivering wreck? No. I'm not a bouncing bunny, but neither am I dysfunctionally down. Having worked in change for 20 years, I have developed a frame of mind something akin to doctors who face daily anguish and must find a position that is both empathetic and emotionally survivable. I read a book a long time ago that trumpeted resilience as a key skill in managing change and, whilst not really getting it then, I took it to heart and actively sought ways of thinking and daily routines that help sustain me through the tough times.
I do hope that some of this has rubbed off on my children. They both are in difficult places on their journey through life, although their paths are quite different. Nevertheless, they are human, like us all, and must learn to handle the roller-coaster of endless change. And like a roller-coaster, you cannot stop life. You cannot get off. Going back is not an option. But you do have choices in how you respond to the ups and downs. And you can prepare and develop your own resilience.
Coda: I later heard from my daughter. She'd gone to the Mucha museum and bought something to cheer herself up, then found a hostel, met people and was out on the town. That's my girl.
Talk about Prague and change - I was there the night the Soviets invaded in
1968 on a school trip!! Spent the next days on return saying to my parents 'it
wasn't my fault' ! :)