Obsessive Primping Syndrome (OPS)

I think I've discovered a new mental condition. There's a woman sitting opposite me on the train who has opened her bag, taken out a mirror, squinted into it and primped up her hair goodness how many times. It seems she's stuck in an obsessive loop. Perhaps she's got nothing else to do and perhaps there's a little gremlin in her brain that cycles around in a circle, regularly whispering in her ear 'better check how you look'.

Maybe it's a 'mirror, mirror on the wall' effect and that she wants to check that, yes, she still is the most beautiful of them all. My opinion is that she's past her prime, which perhaps is also a source of anxiety and obsession. She's blond, pert and probably still turns heads, but she's spent too long sunbathing and is sagging in many places I won't mention.

Perhaps she started when she was young. You do see groups of teenagers who can primp and gossip without pausing for breath. Primping is also a signal to the boys, of course, saying 'I'm beautiful and I know it.' And the other boys know it too, so if you fancy your chances you'd better get over here quick.

In the final analysis, it all seems rather sad, that those early courtship behaviours turn into aging impulses that perhaps indicate a touch more of desperation and fading hope for the perfect white knight who will sweep the primper away to his perfect and safe castle, where he will woo her every day for the rest of her life.

So beware, all ye primpers, lest ye become a sad shell of yesteryear. And I think I'd better beware myself as I get older, lest I, too, hold out false hope that nubile young things might ogle my sagging bum and bulging tum with anything more than derision. For the sad fact of age is that whilst the spirit may be willing, the flesh goes its own way.

Quick links

The ChangingMinds Blog!