How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
The ChangingMinds Blog!
What not to wear
I watched a TV programme of this name recently and whilst I am far from being a fashion slave I was most impressed.
The subjects of this episode were two teenagers, both of whom had typical self-image problems. One saw herself as overly thin with too-small breasts whilst the other was a gawky and not terribly feminine character.
The presenters, whilst externally seemingly arch-fashionistas were surprisingly sensitive to the real internal issues. Rather than just hang fashion on their subjects, they got to know them first and then suggested what they should wear.
With much encouragement they got the 'thin' girl into hot pants and a short top and slowly got her into more public situations. She had a very supportive family and friends and soon she was comfortable showing more skin as she at last realised she was rather attractive.
The second teenager was a bit more of a problem as she was a less glamorous shape and had a repressive father who clearly did not want his little girl to grow up. She had a feisty character, however, and they dressed her in an almost 50's style but in modern, bright colours. Neatly also, this styling was also more acceptable to her old-fashioned father.
An important step for both was a haircut and make-up. Looking in the mirror they thus saw a very different person, so letting them leave the 'old' person behind as they were forced to think 'She is beautiful -- she is me!'
Breaking and changing an established self-image takes quite a lot of effort and a visual change can have a surprising impact on how you think about yourself. And having had that thought, it is difficult to go back.
So, it seems you are indeed what you wear.
It is a very important insight, that self-images become established as singular, unquestioned truths.
If you think that you are comfortable of what you wear, so go for
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