How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
The ChangingMinds Blog!
Chatting up men
Whilst the traditional romantic scenario is of men leading the conversation, we are a long way down the line from female emancipation and women are increasingly leading the game.
One reason women take charge is that men can get the chatting-up game all wrong. They should show themselves to be helpful, generous, athletic, cultured and affluent, whereas jokes, empty compliments and sexual references are likely to be turn-offs.
Recent research into chatting-up by women has shown that they have figured out that to attract a man you've got to talk like a man -- well, at least in being direct. A lot of men will miss indirect subtlety but will happily respond to direct questions (and maybe think 'At last! A woman who understands me.').
This was demonstrated recently by psychologist Joel Wade, who asked women for chat-up lines they would use with men, then asked other men and women which they thought would be most effective. Unsurprisingly, the more direct lines were largely considered to be the most effective.
The conclusion is obvious: just as men often need to be more subtle, women who want a date should be less subtle. .
Men are now the ones who are leaned on, they support the women in everything and they even now stand back and let women chat them up. It's gone full circle, modern men are much less confident than their fathers, grandfathers. Women almost have to whisper in their ear, I like you, I want you because otherwise she will be chatting all night with no end game !
These days the women have to bash the guy over the head and pull him back to
-- Bob D.
And the big