How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

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The  Betari Box


Explanations > Behaviors > The Betari Box

Attitude affects behavior | Behavior affects others' attitudes | So what?


The Betari Box (sometimes also written as Betari's Box or Betaris Box) is a simple circular diagram that shows how attitude and behavior are linked.



my attitude


your behavior   my behavior


your attitude


Attitude affects behavior

Our attitude about anything comes out in our external behavioral displays. This may appear in the signals we send to other people, for example in smiles, voice tone and use of particular words. It also appears in how we act, and in particular regarding other people.

The reverse  is also true, of course, and attitude of others also affects their behavior.

Behavior affects others' attitudes

When I do something or send physical signals to you, then it has an effect on your attitude. If I act in an aggressive way towards you, you will interpret this in a certain way. Your attitude is subsequently affected by this, either because you are persuaded by my arguments or because you react to what you may perceive as unreasonable behavior by me.

And again, the reverse is true. Your behavior affects my attitudes as I interpret, rightly or wrongly, what you do or signal.

Thus a circle is created. I act, which affects your attitude, which affects your behavior, which affects my attitude, which affects my actions.

So what?

This is one of the circular behavioral patterns whereby we get stuck in subconscious loops. Recognizing it is the first step to addressing it.

To change the behavior of others, first watch your own attitude and how it affects your behavior. Then notice how your behavior affects other people. You can break the unconscious loop byspotting how the behavior of others makes you feel and refusing to let it affect your attitude without first censoring this process.

See also

Beliefs about people, Games


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