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Help-Rejecting Complaining

 

Explanations > Behaviors > Coping > Help-Rejecting Complaining

Description | Example | Discussion | So what?

  

Description

A person becomes upset or otherwise elicits supporting actions from other people. When helpful suggestions or other comfort is offered, however, they reject this and return to their complaint.

Example

A person complains to their partner about problems at work. When the partner suggests ways of resolving the problems the solutions are rejected out of hand and the person continues to complain.

Discussion

If a person who is distressed accepts help, then they also accept the notion that the help will lead to their distress being alleviated. However, if they find the distressful state somehow comforting, or believe that they cannot be helped, then accepting any support puts them into a tricky situation.

Asking for a solution to a problem may also be less about the problem and more about gaining attention. Resolving the problem means losing attention, and so is avoided.

This situation can become a double-bind for the other person, who is required to offer solutions, but who soon finds that no solution will be accepted.

So what?

If others complain to you and do not consider any solutions you offer, then there is little value in continuing to offer solutions. Also consider if you must stay with them at this time.

If you want to help them, sometimes it is enough just to quietly accept them whilst repelling their demands for solution. A way of doing this is to ask them for more detail about the issue, ideally in a way that will lead them towards resolving the issue themselves.

See also

Games, Socratic questioning

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Site Menu

| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings |

Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories |

Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help |

More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes |

Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate |

 

 

Please help and share:

 

Quick links

Disciplines

* Argument
* Brand management
* Change Management
* Coaching
* Communication
* Counseling
* Game Design
* Human Resources
* Job-finding
* Leadership
* Marketing
* Politics
* Propaganda
* Rhetoric
* Negotiation
* Psychoanalysis
* Sales
* Sociology
* Storytelling
* Teaching
* Warfare
* Workplace design

Techniques

* Assertiveness
* Body language
* Change techniques
* Closing techniques
* Conversation
* Confidence tricks
* Conversion
* Creative techniques
* General techniques
* Happiness
* Hypnotism
* Interrogation
* Language
* Listening
* Negotiation tactics
* Objection handling
* Propaganda
* Problem-solving
* Public speaking
* Questioning
* Using repetition
* Resisting persuasion
* Self-development
* Sequential requests
* Storytelling
* Stress Management
* Tipping
* Using humor
* Willpower

Principles

+ Principles

Explanations

* Behaviors
* Beliefs
* Brain stuff
* Conditioning
* Coping Mechanisms
* Critical Theory
* Culture
* Decisions
* Emotions
* Evolution
* Gender
* Games
* Groups
* Habit
* Identity
* Learning
* Meaning
* Memory
* Motivation
* Models
* Needs
* Personality
* Power
* Preferences
* Research
* Relationships
* SIFT Model
* Social Research
* Stress
* Trust
* Values

Theories

* Alphabetic list
* Theory types

And

About
Guest Articles
Blog!
Books
Changes
Contact
Guestbook
Quotes
Students
Webmasters

 

| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links |

© Changing Works 2002-
Massive Content — Maximum Speed