How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
When we are upset about something, we feel distress, a generalized sensation of discomfort and emotional arousal.
Distress is the opposite of contentment. Both are general emotional states, one being negatively aroused whilst the other is positively calmed. Contentment comes from goals being achieved, whilst distress occurs when we lose what we have or expect.
A variant sometimes used as an opposite is eustress (a word not found in all dictionaries) which is stress that is positively felt, such as the passion of love. It's opposition to distress is in the negative-positive difference. Contentment is opposite in arousal-calm as well as negative-positive.
Sometimes distress does not find a particular anchor and the person is just upset by themselves and may just have to wait until the emotional storm has blown itself out.
Thus when a close friend dies, an unfocused distress may lead to the mourning of loss, whilst focusing that distress may lead to blame of the friend for leaving, blaming God for taking the friend, or, more positively seeking to give and get comfort from others friends.
When people are distressed, they will often seek rescue. You can be that knight on a white horse, riding in to save the day (and hence creating an obligation for exchange).
You might also cause distress in order to become that rescuer -- but beware of the effects of betrayal that result from being found out!
And the big