How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
Many of the activities in which we indulge help us to get away from our lives or our characters with which we are not happy. These can be relatively harmless, such as sports or hobbies. they can also be hazardous and even fatal, including taking drugs and indulging in extreme sports. At the most extreme, some commit suicide to escape an unhappy life.
In effect, we are trying to escape from our selves or some aspect of our character. Of course this cannot be done but this does not stop us from repeatedly trying.
Heatherton and Baumeister found significantly more dysfunction with regard to body esteem, suicidal ideation other irrational thoughts with those who indulged in binge drinking, as compared with non-binge-drinkers.
Baumeister found escape behavior in such as sexual activities and suicide.
I have a boring and unfulfilling job and have difficulty sustaining love relationships. I often go out drinking with my friends at the weekend.
Offer people escape as a negotiation chip or to create a sense of reciprocity.
You can also perhaps help people who you can see escaping, for example by enabling them to live more fulfilling lives.
Note your own tendency to escape. Re-think your life and motivations as appropriate, getting help where you can.