changingminds.org

How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

| Menu | Quick | Books | Share | Search | Settings |

Ask them about themselves

 

Techniques > Conversation techniques > Opening the conversation > Ask them about themselves

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

 

Description

Ask them something about themselves.

If you do not know their name, then start there.

Compliment them about their appearance. Ask them where the got that nice suit, watch, hat or whatever.

Comment on their cheery condition, ask them why they are looking a bit down. Say they look distracted and ask why.

Ask if they have family, the names of their children, how old they are, how they are doing in school and so on.

Ask about their occupation, their careers and plans for the future.

Ask about hobbies, interests and what they do with their spare time.

Pay attention when they give you an answer. Show interest not only in the answer but them as a person as well, possibly evoking a betrayal response.

And when they tell you something, show interest in it. Follow up with more questions.

Example

You look thoughtful. What's up?

What are you going to do this weekend?

That's a lovely jumper, where did you get it?

Discussion

The most interesting person in the world is me. I can talk about myself all day long if somebody asks me the right questions and seems to be really interested in what I have to say.

Note that the level of intimacy in the questions depends on the level of relationship. Be careful also with sensitive subjects. If you sense that they are uncomfortable with what you have asked, apologize as necessary and change the subject.

If you ask questions but do not follow up, then then they may conclude that you are not really listening and are false in your apparent interest.

See also

Questioning techniques

 

Site Menu

| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings |

Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories |

Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help |

More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes |

Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate |

 

You can buy books here

More Kindle books:

And the big
paperback book


Look inside

 

Please help and share:

 

Quick links

Disciplines

* Argument
* Brand management
* Change Management
* Coaching
* Communication
* Counseling
* Game Design
* Human Resources
* Job-finding
* Leadership
* Marketing
* Politics
* Propaganda
* Rhetoric
* Negotiation
* Psychoanalysis
* Sales
* Sociology
* Storytelling
* Teaching
* Warfare
* Workplace design

Techniques

* Assertiveness
* Body language
* Change techniques
* Closing techniques
* Conversation
* Confidence tricks
* Conversion
* Creative techniques
* General techniques
* Happiness
* Hypnotism
* Interrogation
* Language
* Listening
* Negotiation tactics
* Objection handling
* Propaganda
* Problem-solving
* Public speaking
* Questioning
* Using repetition
* Resisting persuasion
* Self-development
* Sequential requests
* Storytelling
* Stress Management
* Tipping
* Using humor
* Willpower

Principles

* Principles

Explanations

* Behaviors
* Beliefs
* Brain stuff
* Conditioning
* Coping Mechanisms
* Critical Theory
* Culture
* Decisions
* Emotions
* Evolution
* Gender
* Games
* Groups
* Habit
* Identity
* Learning
* Meaning
* Memory
* Motivation
* Models
* Needs
* Personality
* Power
* Preferences
* Research
* Relationships
* SIFT Model
* Social Research
* Stress
* Trust
* Values

Theories

* Alphabetic list
* Theory types

And

About
Guest Articles
Blog!
Books
Changes
Contact
Guestbook
Quotes
Students
Webmasters

 

| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links |

© Changing Works 2002-2016
Massive Content — Maximum Speed