How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
Get others to comply with your request by telling them how good they are at what they do.
Be genuine in your praise, complimenting them on things they really are good at. This will require you to be observant and considerate. Link the praise to the action that you want them to undertake.
You're good at this. Could you lend me a hand?
You're the IT expert around here. Can you help with my computer?
Could I ask your advice on this? I need some clear thinking.
When we compliment people, they feel good about themselves and what they do. This makes them more relaxed, open and confident, and so more ready to help others. When you believe you are good at something, you do not fear failure and so have no need to avoid it.
Compliments also create reciprocity, where our being kind to them makes them want to be kind to us in return. In effect, when we compliment in persuasion we are giving them good feelings in exchange for compliance with our requests.
One of the sincerest compliments is just to ask advice. You do not need to flatter them first. Just ask for their opinion. Most people are, nevertheless, flattered to think that their opinion counts.
Compliment is the 14th of the 64 compliance-gaining strategies described by Kellerman and Cole.
Kellermann, K. & Cole, T. (1994). Classifying compliance gaining messages: Taxonomic disorder and strategic confusion. Communication Theory, 1, 3-60