How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
To get other people to comply with requests, tell them that it is their duty to do so.
Talk about the promises they have made and how they must complete these. Note the things you have done for them and the obligations they have. Point out their formal and social responsibilities. Show that you have the right and they have the duty.
You owe it to your children to take them out at the weekend.
I want it. You have to buy it for me.
Put it back. You know you must be good.
Much of our lives are governed by rules, from national laws to religious edicts, company policies, social norms, personal values and family ways. Following any of these rules is a duty, which we feel we must fulfil. Breaking a duty would expose us as bad and wrong.
duties are a matched pair. When a person has a right, another person has a
duty to fulfil that right. If you can position yourself as having a right, you
may also be able to convince someone else they have the duty to give you want
you want. Children do this all the time with their parents.
Duty is the 28th of the 64 compliance-gaining strategies described by Kellerman and Cole.
Kellermann, K. & Cole, T. (1994). Classifying compliance gaining messages: Taxonomic disorder and strategic confusion. Communication Theory, 1, 3-60
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