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Negative Esteem From Actor

 

Techniques General persuasionKellerman and Cole's 64 Strategies > Negative Esteem From Actor

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

 

Description

Get others to agree with you by threatening that, unless they do as you suggest, you will regard them with less esteem, thinking less of them and assigning them to a lower status.

This can be accompanied by disapproving body language, 'tut-tutting' and otherwise indicating how much you dislike their disagreement or disobedience. This will be helped if you have already established a position of authority.

Example

I don't like people who do things that sort of thing. Don't do it if you value my friendship.

That's not a good idea. I wouldn't do that if I were you.

You're beginning to look rather selfish here.

Discussion

This principle uses the relationship between you and the other person as a bargaining chip. It suggests that the relationship is more important to them and less so to you, and that you are the more important person, with highest authority, in the relationship. In social situations when there is no formal relationship, you can informally claim this simply by your actions.

Negative Esteem From Actor is also written as 'Negative Esteem (Actor)'.

Negative Esteem From Actor is the 32nd of the 64 compliance-gaining strategies described by Kellerman and Cole.

See also

Esteem, Belonging, Status, Relationships

 

Kellermann, K. & Cole, T. (1994). Classifying compliance gaining messages: Taxonomic disorder and strategic confusion. Communication Theory, 1, 3-60

 

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