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Be Friendly

 

Techniques > How to > How Can I Get People to Trust Me? > Be Friendly

Description | Example | Discussion | So what?

 

Description

A simple way to get people to trust you is just to be friendly.

Ways to show friendship include:

  • Smile and seem pleased when you greet them.
  • Remember their name and use it.
  • Remember and ask about things in their lives.
  • Be relaxed with them, showing you are comfortable in their company.
  • Listen to them more than talking at them.
  • Take their concerns seriously, inquiring further about them.
  • Offer ideas and help them solve problems.
  • Go out of your way to help them, even without being asked.
  • Be there for them when they are upset.

Do not force yourself on people. Be increasingly friendly at the rate at which they are ready to accept your friendship.

If people do not want friendship, do not take this as an affront. Just be civil (this is often sufficient).

Example

A person always greets others like long-lost friends with many smiles and hugs.

When a person is upset, a friend drops everything to go around to the person's house to listen and help.  

Discussion

Friendship happens at several levels. To sell or otherwise persuade people, you do not need to be a great friend. Being friendly, however, can still go a long way.

One of the way friendliness works is that it triggers obligation, in the way that friends are obliged to listen to one another and help were possible. While this formally applies more to close friends, we feel the sense of obligation also when even strangers are friendly.

Friendship is at the heart of society. It comes with trust and includes reciprocal obligations that keep people helping one another. It is this social force that people feel when friendly people ask for things.

So what?

Be friendly. It costs little and gains a lot, even if it is just the reflected good feeling when people smile in return. Use this to help establish a relationship, even if it is temporary, before asking things of them.

See also

Similarity principle, Relationships

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