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Share Secrets

 

Techniques > How to > How Can I Get People to Trust Me? > Share Secrets

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

 

Description

To get people to trust you more, confide in them. Tell them things that you have told few if any other people. Share your secrets with them.

When you share secrets, be sure to let them know that you are trusting them and doing this with the understanding that they will not divulge your secrets to other people.

Be open to them sharing their secrets with you in return, but do not push for this.

Example

A woman confides in a new friend that she is having problems with her marriage. Before long, the other person is telling her secrets too and their friendship deepens accordingly.

A sales person tells a customer about a new product that is just about to be announced, so the customer can better choose whether to buy now or wait. Trusting the sales person more, the customer gives them a firm order. 

Discussion

When you confide in another person, you are effectively saying 'I trust you'. This brings you closer together as they appreciate your confidence in them and your identities are partially merged. This leads to them trusting you more as, in effect, they are trusting their extended self.

This also invokes the exchange principle, where the other person, having been trusted by you, feels obliged to trust you in return. This is a tricky area as they may not be ready to trust you with their secrets, even though they may generally trust you more. If you push for them to trust you, they may easily pull back.

See also

Trust Them, Keep Secrets, Bonding principle

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