How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
An approach to listening that integrates a high level of personal integrity requires that you both listen and respond with integrity.
Listening with honesty requires an openness that accepts both the person and their thoughts.
Use Active Listening methods to encourage the other person to speak by accepting both them and their arguments. In this, you are modeling an open honesty of behavior that you will subsequently want them to use in return.
When they make comments and suggest ideas, do not dismiss them, no matter how stupid or bad they may seem. These are the other person's truths.
Sometimes the most difficult part of high-integrity listening is sticking to your guns after listening to the other person in giving your own view.
Do not fall into the 'yes-man' pattern, where your desire to be liked leads you to accept and appear to agree with the other person's view when you actually have reservations or think that it is wrong in some way.
Be clear, straightforward and honest, avoiding floppy language. Make your response true and honest as to your perceptions. You are again modeling behavior for the other person, encouraging them to be equally up-front with their perceptions.
Talk about feelings
Demonstrate Emotional Intelligence in your response, talking about how you feel about their thoughts and the subject in question. This also legitimizes and encourages their expressions of emotion.