The ChangingMinds Blog!
Blog Archive > 16-Sep-11
Did you know that how you
listen changes the language of the speaker? It's a useful way, when
listening, to know something of the inner response of the other person.
Listening positively, showing appreciation of the other person, is likely to
lead them to use more abstractions and subjective impressions, whilst negative
listening, with disinterest and criticism, may well lead them to use objective
facts and concrete details.
Positive listening includes nods, smiles, eye contact and open body language.
It makes the other person feel accepted and, trusting you, they get more
expansive. Negative listening includes staring, frowning and generally appearing
judgemental and disapproving. Facing this, people will be cautious and
defensive, sticking only to facts and being very circumspect when talking of
Beukeboom, C. (2009). When words feel right: How affective expressions of
listeners change a speaker's language use. European Journal of Social
Psychology, 39 (5), 747-756
your comments here are very interestiing to me, cause im a sales person and
have always had a hard time to connect with people and some people continue to
tell me its not what i say but is how i say things and just cant seem to get
better at it. I've tried to read several books but again i fall into the same as
well found myself not listening to any prospect or missed the signs the client
is offering, do you have any advise or any video to look at since im a visual
person, to get a better perspective and increase the ability to do the clients a
better service and not let other companies take the sale and leave me in the
dust, please let know if possible.
thank you. much in advance.
Thank you for your post. Listening can be a very positive way to connect with
others. Improving listening skills can be learned. Fist there must be awareness
about our own ability to listen well and desire to be better.
I'm writing a series on how to be a better listener in my blog.