Hurting the relationship

Disciplines > Negotiation > Negotiation mistakes > Hurting the relationship

Description | Avoiding it | Taking advantage | See also

Description

Hurting the relationship sometimes happens in negotiations, but it often is unnecessary and can do long-term damage.

In order to persuade, you may at times be economical with the truth. Persuasion may also use coercive, high pressure methods. The result of Machiavellian methods, where the ends justify the means, can easily result in the other person feeling cheated or betrayed. If you have to interact with them at any time again, then they will be highly suspicious of you. They may also seek revenge in more surreptitious ways.

Avoiding it

When negotiating, first consider how important a sustained relationship with the other person is. Even if you will never meet them again, remember that if they are seriously hurt by your actions they may take active steps to get revenge.

Whilst remembering that the relationship is important, do not concede on all points in order to sustain the relationship -- in fact this is more likely to damage it, as the other person is now taking the person of putting personal gains consistently ahead of the relationship.

The simplest approach is to ensuring you balance substance with relationship is to adopt beliefs and values that lead you to an effective approach that gets both a fair outcome and sustains the relationship.

Taking advantage

Where others seem to put the relationship first, use this by appearing hurt when they ask for something. Likewise signal that anything that they do that puts themselves before you would be to jeopardize the relationship.

On the other hand, when you want something, either ignore any relationship items or suggest that they must concede to you because you are such good friends.