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Common games
Explanations > Behaviors
> Games
> Common games
The games | So what?
In our interactions with people around us, we often fall into common patterns
of behavior, or games, that we play and re-play.
The games
The descriptions here are very brief and there are of course many more. In
practice, many games can go on at the same time and can be intertwined and
complex. See the references for more detail...
|
Game |
Description |
Real benefit |
| Stop me if you can |
Damaging activity, for example using drugs. |
Gets attention, avoids responsibility |
| Blemish |
Finding fault with others. Being as picky as
necessary |
Distracts attention from self |
| Clever me |
Boasting about what you have done |
Get attention, sympathy, admiration |
| Courtroom |
Describe 'logically' how I am right and others
are wrong |
Get support, sympathy and absolution |
| If it weren't for you |
Blaming others for your non-achievements |
Absolution of guilt |
| I'm only trying to help |
Offering help then complaining when it is not
accepted |
Controlling others |
| Let's you and him fight |
Get others to fight for you |
Control of others, share of blame, friendship |
| Look how hard I've tried |
Put in lots of effort that intentionally does
not succeed. |
Absolves oneself from responsibility. |
| Now I've got you (you son of a bitch) |
Vents rage on someone and blames them for it |
Displaces anger. Absolves responsibility |
| Poor me |
Display self as unlucky and helpless |
Sympathy and support |
| See what you made me do |
Blaming others for one's own problems |
Absolution of responsibility, instilling guilt |
| Honestly |
Making empty promises |
Getting one's way in the short-term |
| Uproar |
Violent argument with deliberate pressing of hot
buttons |
Sustain attention, venting and displacing anger |
| Yes but... |
Providing objections to refuse help |
Maintenance of attention and control |
| Wooden leg |
Acquire a handicap, real or imagined and ham it
up |
Sympathy, avoidance of responsibility |
So what?
See the games understand what's going on. Either play out the script or break
it.
See also
Eric Berne, (1964), Games People Play: The Psychology of Human
Relationships, Balantine Books
Thomas Harris (1996), I'm OK-You're OK, Avon books
http://frogsandprinces.dawntreader.net/appendixa.html#lowhit
http://www.cghub.co.za/TA/games.htm
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