changingminds.org

How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

| Menu | Quick | Books | Share | Search | Settings |

Be Like Them

 

Explanations > Relationships > Trust > How Can I Get People to Trust Me? > Be Like Them

Description | Example | Discussion | So what?

 

Description

A simple way to get people to trust you is to be like them in all kinds of ways.

Ways of being similar include:

  • Speak like them, using similar words and speaking style.
  • Move like them, using similar body language.
  • Dress like them, with similar fashion and formality.
  • Do similar things to them, for example with similar work, hobbies or social activities.
  • Think like them, with similar approaches to problems.
  • Feel like them, showing empathy and similar emotional displays.
  • Have a similar history, for example going to the same school or living in similar places.
  • Be like them, with similar values, beliefs and attitudes.

Be similar, rather than identical. Show you are like them, not just copying them. If you know what they are like, you can sometimes do this by being ahead of them rather than one step behind.

Example

A sales person asks customers about their interests and professes to have similar interests. 

A person in business dresses similarly to their manager and adopts a similar detail-oriented interaction style. They get promotion.

Discussion

There are two very different situations for trust. Firstly, trust is built up over a period of time by being honest, reliable and caring. However, there is often a question of trust when there is no time to assess true trustworthiness. In such cases, for example when dealing with strangers or people you do not know well, the similarity principle applies, where we work on the principle that people who seem to be like us are trustworthy.

The way this works is that when people seem similar to us, we connect with them to the point of joining identities. When we think of them, we are then also thinking of ourselves. And because we trust ourselves, we trust them too.

So what?

Use similarity to build short-term trust. If needed, also be consistently honest, reliable caring in order to develop evidence of your longer-term trustworthiness.

See also

Similarity principle

Site Menu

| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings |

Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories |

Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help |

More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes |

Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate |

 

You can buy books here

More Kindle books:

And the big
paperback book


Look inside

 

Please help and share:

 

Quick links

Disciplines

* Argument
* Brand management
* Change Management
* Coaching
* Communication
* Counseling
* Game Design
* Human Resources
* Job-finding
* Leadership
* Marketing
* Politics
* Propaganda
* Rhetoric
* Negotiation
* Psychoanalysis
* Sales
* Sociology
* Storytelling
* Teaching
* Warfare
* Workplace design

Techniques

* Assertiveness
* Body language
* Change techniques
* Closing techniques
* Conditioning
* Conversation
* Confidence tricks
* Conversion
* Creative techniques
* General techniques
* Happiness
* Hypnotism
* Interrogation
* Language
* Listening
* Negotiation tactics
* Objection handling
* Propaganda
* Problem-solving
* Public speaking
* Questioning
* Using repetition
* Resisting persuasion
* Self-development
* Sequential requests
* Storytelling
* Stress Management
* Tipping
* Using humor
* Willpower

Principles

* Principles

Explanations

* Behaviors
* Beliefs
* Brain stuff
* Conditioning
* Coping Mechanisms
* Critical Theory
* Culture
* Decisions
* Emotions
* Evolution
* Gender
* Games
* Groups
* Habit
* Identity
* Learning
* Meaning
* Memory
* Motivation
* Models
* Needs
* Personality
* Power
* Preferences
* Research
* Relationships
* SIFT Model
* Social Research
* Stress
* Trust
* Values

Theories

* Alphabetic list
* Theory types

And

About
Guest Articles
Blog!
Books
Changes
Contact
Guestbook
Quotes
Students
Webmasters

 

| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links |

© Changing Works 2002-
Massive Content — Maximum Speed