Active care

Techniques > Conversation techniques > Building rapport > Active care

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

Description

Show that you care about other people. Not just by being nice and friendly (although this does count), but by going out of your way to help them.

When they are upset by something, take time to listen to them. Ask them how they are without having to be prompted. See if you can take some of their daily load off them.

Do things for them without being asked. Make them a cup of tea. Tidy up. Cook for them. Do the washing up. And do not look for thanks or feel bad if you do not get it. Just be happy to help.

Stand up for those who are less able to defend themselves. Defend them when they are being attacked, even when they are not there. Put yourself in harm's way to protect the other person from harm.

Example

A manager visits the home of an employee who is sick, taking a basket of flowers.

A person puts themselves between a mugger and a person they know.

A woman is upset and goes to the bathroom. Another woman notices and follows to find out what's wrong and offer support.

Discussion

Care is a critical component of trust -- I am less likely to trust a person who seems not to care about me.

Active care may be contrasted with passive care, which is more of a 'do no harm' approach where the caring person does not go out of their way to help the other person. We offer passive care to most other people, but active care only to those we particularly like and care for. Active care thus signals 'you are special'.