How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

Three As of Simple Persuasion

Techniques > General persuasion > Articles on persuasion > Three As of Simple Persuasion

Acknowledge | Appreciate | Ask | See also

There are three simple As that you can use to change peoples' minds and get what you want from them. They are not difficult though are surprisingly under-used.

Acknowledge

Start by acknowledging the other person. Look at them. Acknowledge that they exist and are here now. Recognize that they exist.

Greet them, even if it is with just a smile. When they speak, show that you are listening to them, for example by hiding in the right places.

When you acknowledge a person, you affirm their existence and right to be here. Acknowledging them also connects with them, making them a welcome member of your group.

Being ignored is distressing for many and may feel like a punishment. It suggests that they somehow do not exist.

Appreciate

Continue by appreciating the other person. See the unique potential and value in them. Even if you know them well, look at them as for the first time. Appreciate them as if they were the most important person in the world.

There are all kinds of ways to show appreciation, from thanking them to taking them and their views seriously.

Appreciating a person offers them esteem and status. It makes them feel important, and that their lives are worthwhile.

When people are not appreciated they feel worthless and devalued, as if their lives have no meaning.

Ask

Finally, just ask for what you want of them. If they feel truly acknowledged and appreciated, they will be only too happy to give you what they can in return for those precious, very personal gifts.

Bring asked for their opinion is also very flattering. It makes them feel important and expert.

When nobody asks us for our views we feel ignored, useless and not really valued.

See also

Building Rapport