How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
The Need for Completion of
Does the above title bother you? Did you ask 'Completion of what?' Things which are incomplete bother us, whether they are sentences or things we are doing.
When things are complete, they are done and in the past and we do not need to think about them again. When they incomplete,
Something which is incomplete is not certain and leaves us unsatisfied and seeking to resolve the incompletion by completing what has been left undone.
Completion leads to a sense of closure, where we feel the comfort of such as a job well done or an argument satisfactorily finished.
One of the effects of incompletion is that we constantly have to go back and think about all the incomplete things we know about, to make sure we do not forget it and to predict possible outcomes. As more and more things are left incomplete, we get more and more distracted and exhausted by the ever-increasing rehearsal.
The rule of three
If someone starts something then leaves it incomplete and then starts something else, and then repeats this again and again, how many such nested incompletions can we stand? In practice, problems seem to set in around about three incomplete things.
This appears in a wide range of places. For example, section numbering in manuals may go to 1, 1.2 and 1.2.3, but seldom goes down to a fourth or lower level with section numbers such as 184.108.40.206.7.2. Technical writers know that such detail is too much for most people to handle. (Government specification, however are a different matter).
Self-actualization is the drive to complete ourselves, to make our identity whole, to eliminate any sense of loss and lack of completion. This can be difficult when we have deep-rooted sense of loss from such as not transitioning through development stages or through the loss of loved ones.
Completing the self can be a lifetime's task which many do not finish.
Writer of soap-operas and other instalment-based entertainment know much about completion. All stories can be viewed as nothing but a series of tension-creating incomplete scenarios, followed by satisfying completion, tying up the loose ends and giving a sense of control and that all is now well in the world.
Consider what an incomplete story forces us to do:
Incomplete stories and situations leave people wanting more. If you leave them open, then they will also be more open to your persuasive arguments.
So start telling them something, then break off and tell them something else. Do this several times. Then slip in the real request or suggestion that you want to make. They will be so confused they will accept it often without question.