How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
Love is a massive motivator and can lead people to perform all kinds of self-sacrificial acts.
In the ninteenth century, the French writer Stendhal described the stages of the 'crystallization' of love as:
More recently, Sternberg describes three styles of love:
These combine to create seven styles:
The games of love are played on six different stages, and individuals will have preferred modes (Lee):
Peterson and Seligman reduce love to three prototypical forms:
Love can be viewed as a form of transference whereby one person puts a part of themself into another person and then feeling lost without that part, and subsequently feeling whole again when they relate to that person.
Many romantic mismatches occur when partners both state their love for one another, but each is talking about a different style of love. Maybe you have experience of this?
If you want blind followers, look good and build a passionate image. Otherwise find the history of love of the other person and play to their needs.
Great sales people know that the true secret is to love both their products and their customers. They also know that true love binds, and devious trickery is out of the question.
If you dive into love heart first, pause first and ask whether the other person is truly committed. Beware of blind love. Love can be the best thing ever, but also know that love hurts, especially when betrayed.